tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-54227180579337852392024-02-07T10:54:21.475+08:00Kapal Terbang KertasI can't sing. So, I write.izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.comBlogger315125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-48640487832725068182018-07-31T00:12:00.002+08:002018-07-31T00:12:52.228+08:00A Retreat Into NatureIt is totally worth it to venture into the wilderness, exploring forest and trees and nature, breathing fresher air and glazing the sun while sunbathing on a rocky cold river.<br />
<br />
Going back to nature is my favourite retreat.<br />
<br />
I just came back from an overnight camping trip to a nearby waterfall (I guess you can just google Lata Medang). The trip wasn't that awesome entirely, but I kinda remember why is it worth to tire yourself for some kind of majestic view that the nature can offer, as well as the mysterious vibes it possessed.<br />
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The journey to Lata Medang took us about 2 hours. 2 hours of trekking, along hills, small alleys, steep slopes, orchards owned by local people (orang asli), and small stream of water. Luck wasn't on our side, the moment we were about to start the journey, heavy rain fell. I guess I couldn't say that rain was a sign of bad luck, rainfall is in fact a blessing from God. But it was pouring down heavily. We started walking. With heavy bag carried on our shoulders (guess how sore it is to bear a beg weighed about 10 kilos for two hours with uneven earth road surfaces). We were drenched and soaked the moment we took our first step into the jungle trail. I guess the track wasn't that bad since I didn't suffer any leg cramps. But with slippery road, heavy bag, and heavy rain, I couldn't say the journey was easy either.<br />
<br />
For a brief moment, the jungle was covered in light mist which made the view was kinda breathtaking. Beautiful and mysterious at the same time. I stopped for a while, admiring what was in front of my eyes, but sadly my phone couldn't capture that same view. I savoured, by taking a deep breath.<br />
<br />
We continued to walk, shivering, and taking a few 5 minutes breaks, and finally reached our camping site. We were totally soaked. All my clothes were wet, I had a leech bit on my right leg, and the view of the waterfall wasn't as expected due to strong current from the upstream, so the water was kinda cloudy and yellowish in colour (like teh tarik, or we called it 'keruh'). But for the sake of surviving the night, we rushed to set up the tents and hoping the upcoming night is not cold as what we've experienced from our previous outdoor trip. As I had no dry cloth to wear, I just wore one of my dry-fits (dry-fit clothes tend to dry faster) but still, I can feel the cold seeped into my bones and all my arm hairs were like erected (like the chill when you have a goosebump).<br />
<br />
We had our dinner, and by 8, everything was covered in darkness.<br />
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Darkness that illuminates. It was after the final exam, and we obviously much needed a retreat.<br />
<br />
The best thing for me are just plain cracker and good hot coffee. Sitting by the river, hearing crickets sound, sometimes a cool cozy wind blew in, the sound of flowing water, a glimpse of moonlight and stars through the big trees and leaves, surrounding by the sound of nature is a bliss and remedy to the mind and soul.<br />
<br />
I want to feel it again, ever and madly.<br />
<br />
p/s: I didn't know I still have some few draft posts saved in this blog. This post was written in 2014. Reread and rewritten 4 years later.izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-8051047190436606582017-04-17T00:07:00.003+08:002017-04-17T00:07:55.468+08:00Save by OneselfDear past me,<br />
<br />
Thank you for being emotional and to channel all those feelings in this blog.<br />
<br />
There are lots of things that have been bothering me lately.<br />
<br />
And for quite some period of time, my mind has been clouded with thoughts.<br />
<br />
All the while, all posts in this blog have been reminding me again what kind of goal I once had in the past.<br />
<br />
Thank you for saving me.<br />
<br />
Love,<br />
Your Present Selfizhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-71213298238035312062015-09-16T22:21:00.001+08:002015-09-16T22:21:10.533+08:00Tumblr<br />
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<br />
Sorry, been spending more time on tumblr for the past few months.<br />
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<a href="http://seaofyellow.tumblr.com/">seaofyellow.tumblr.com</a></div>
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izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-8453347413878500472015-05-03T01:11:00.001+08:002015-05-03T21:26:49.304+08:00Finding My First JobI'm sorry. I was supposed to update this blog a week ago. But then, I was quite busy. At the moment, I have several job interviews till the end of May.<br />
<br />
Yeah, finding a job is quite stressful. Finding a decent one is very tough. Most employers didn't want a fresh graduate as they prefer someone with work experience for at least 3 years. Okay, the reason is probably most local companies didn't want to spend some money and time to train new people. I presume. Economy is bad you know.<br />
<br />
So, while people aim at several companies, mostly the famous one, to find their first job, I've been digging jobstreet, linkedin, statutory bodies, engineering articles, to find a company which offers engineering services and consultancy.<br />
<br />
Speaking of the subject at hand, I've already applied to about 100 different companies, both local and international, though I don't really have high hope for international bodies. Most of them didn't cover work visa, and they prefer those who have citizenship or permanent resident status (to the countries you are applying to). Thus, Malaysia and Singapore are my best choices.<br />
<br />
I already have a draft for my Japan Trip the other day, I just need to review it a bit but I don't really have time. Or maybe I was just plain lazy. It will be posted here, sooner or later.<br />
<br />
Sorry again !<br />
<br />
By the way, those who have suggestion on the company list, could you drop a comment or two, it'll be helpful. If you can help forwarding my resume, I'll treat you to a coffee (smile).<br />
<br />
Okay, that was kinda, like a, bribery, no, yes, maybe?<br />
<br />
Adieu.<br />
<br />
p/s: I have a degree in civil engineering majoring in geotechnical / structuralizhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-1248666067143046082015-04-05T22:00:00.002+08:002015-04-05T22:00:57.808+08:00Return<br />
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Insyaallah, akan di update dalam masa terdekatizhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-18669605318271431592015-02-28T03:56:00.000+08:002015-02-28T03:56:13.501+08:00A freeman, but not<br />
I suffered from several back pains, stiff shoulder, headaches and moments of desperation during the past five days.<br />
<br />
Thesis submission is due on Monday.<br />
<br />
As a part of fulfilment of my degree, thesis is a must. It's a big thing, it is bigger than my love of coffee. All of the sudden, thesis become so important after I finished my last paper for final exam as it determines whether I can graduate or not this semester. I've been in the education system for too long, a total of 16 years as of now and the desire to break free from the entanglement of pain and suffering of formal education has been built for so many years and today it erupts like a blazing volcano.<br />
<br />
I've completed almost all of it, I just need to format it according to the specification of my university and to check for any plagiarism and finally, printing three copies of it. I've got to apologize for not keeping this blog updated in a frequent manner and the last time I wrote was in early January.<br />
<br />
I haven't had enough sleep for five days, and I think if this is going to continue for another two days, I might pass out sooner or later. But Alhamdullillah, praise to the Almighty Lord, I was able to finish my thesis; at least for the main content. But it was such a relief; I sighed long enough but deeply inside, I feel contented.<br />
<br />
Sweats and efforts for the past 6 months finally come to an end. I will become a freeman, but not.<br />
<br />
Living is not that easy. I haven't think about it yet, what I want to do after this. I am someone who most of the time just going with flow. I actually lack motivation, and I don't really have any particular interest. Either I choose to continue doing Master, or simply find a full time job, or perhaps becoming a teacher, there is going to be lots of things waiting for me down the road.<br />
<br />
In this world, there is no a freeman. There are slaves, who are given the opportunity to make choices.<br />
<br />
We might think we are free; not bound to any obligation and responsibility; we are wrong.<br />
<br />
I wish to write more, but I really need to get some sleep. Do pray for me :)<br />
<br />
See you !<br />
<br />izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-89326015275920168422015-01-16T23:23:00.001+08:002015-02-14T01:01:43.225+08:00In Love, Ever Again<div>
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It's time to start anew. Each year, without missing, people will talk about new year resolution. As time goes by, some people just wouldn't want to talk about it again as making or deciding a new year resolution hasn't made any difference or change throughout their lives a year before. Or maybe the trend goes way back that people start to feel revulsion of the thought of having a resolution.</div>
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For me, it's not a bother at all. January may be the same for some people, but January also could make a difference. Having a resolution is not a crime, less a petty thing to have. You don't know what people have gone through a year before and what they wish for is perhaps another step forward, and January is all that they are betting for.</div>
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A step in January that could lead to other things. </div>
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Each one of us, deep down, sincerely wish for good memory to happen but that's not the case for everyone. A friend of mine lost his beloved mother a few days ago. How heartbreaking he must has felt to have lost one of his dearest treasures when he is just about to get engaged, just starting a new job and it happened in January. I went to visit her mum in the hospital, and I felt like crying inside the ward. Of whom to comfort, I felt like I'm the one who was being comforted instead of him and the rest of his family. An acceptance to let our precious one to go and left us behind certainly requires courage beyond physical and emotional strength.</div>
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Ergo, I don't feel the need to mock people who decide to change in January. In a way, January is what they have left.</div>
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I decided to be in love, ever again. To be in love with myself and the people around me as well in what I'll do in the coming days. I wish to fulfil anything I desire for the goodness of people whom I care a lot. To be a more loving one than what I used to be, in January I pray it'll begin.</div>
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<br /></div>
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In January, I met again a person. Adorable as she is but a dork at times. A person who can point out my weaknesses, but at the same time giving off such an affectionate vibe. Her words may hurt, but as I decided I will not be ever in denial any more, I accepted her words. And I wish she accepted mine. My wounded night heals over her smiles and goodnight wishes, and I couldn't ask for more.</div>
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Acceptance. More than ever, what I had hoped for.</div>
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Acceptance to oneself, to be decent and a little bit stronger.</div>
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To mend heart that is hard like a rock, and to mend soul which illuminates,</div>
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To grasp hand in need, and to return love that is given.</div>
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That's all I long for. </div>
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izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-13224279540038381142014-12-31T00:12:00.001+08:002015-02-14T01:07:14.914+08:00Another Ending Don't you think that a year feels like nothing? Or it is just me?<br />
<br />
Yes, I'm writing again after so long though actually I have no idea what to talk about, but since new year is coming, I guess I should write something on this blog to commemorate the end of 2014 and the beginning of 2015.<br />
<br />
Reflection, theme which people constantly write about, cliché as it can be . However, people keep forgetting, like I am today, so I couldn't comment on that actually and I should just nod my head obediently. People need to be kept reminded, yeah, no?<br />
<br />
A moment ago, I was working under the sun, with shades on, wearing my blue uniform, and all of a sudden, I entered my final year of study. Now I am busy with design project and so forth. In that slow passing of time, there were so many sequences of events that took place that I seemed to forget or went unnoticed, not because I deliberately forget them, but I think I was occupied with something else. I was busy.<br />
<br />
2014 was a busy year for me. I think I did a lot of things this year. I was infatuated and frustrated at the beginning of the year. So to make up for that, you know, keeping your mind (and heart) off the topic and subject, being busy was one of the things. Honestly, it didn't work out that well.<br />
<br />
Still, it was hectic. It was breathtaking. Being broken and heal and having swirling of emotions at times while holding a cup of tea and stare blankly into the dark sky almost every night. It has become a habit, or an unexpected hobby including leaning on the wall, sometimes.<br />
<br />
2014, was like any other year. I had fun. Not to forget things that were bitter. That sensation of life is a proof to our very own existence even in pain. It signifies in a certain way, we are just humans.<br />
<br />
Of all the philosophies, arts and poetries, that I have tried to escape into, the sole reason is not that I ran away, I went there to restore my own self to attach back bits and pieces which crumbled along the journey into whole ones again.<br />
<br />
You know what is the best time to reflect and think, I never thought this actually work, and you can say that I found it in a funny way, the laundry shop ! That kind of laundry shop where you do it yourself. Yup, there was one moment I went there because I had no more clean clothes and I went there at midnight. There was no one else, I was alone. As I sat there waiting for my clothes to be done, I went to nearby 7e and bought a Pocky. I was eating, one by one, and suddenly it became heavy. I was in deep thought as I stared my clothes being washed, turning and swirling in a circular motion. It was weird, even so I felt calm. I felt contented with myself, with all circumstances and turning of events.<br />
<br />
I know I have a lot to improve on, nonetheless, there are still lots of things to cherish,<br />
<br />
And today, I am 23.<br />
<br />
23.<br />
<br />
That was quite lengthy of time to be living.<br />
<br />
What I have now is also quite plenty compared to others.<br />
<br />
I wish to stay grateful.<br />
<br />
I wish to be a more loving one.<br />
<br />
With all my heart.<br />
<br />
With all my heart.<br />
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<br />izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-21748839288450562872014-12-14T23:24:00.001+08:002014-12-14T23:24:10.610+08:00Rumah<br />
<br />
Dalam. Ini sangat dalam.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="450" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/ROvS1WmeB7E" width="600"></iframe><br />
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<br />izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-11253667719801262862014-12-11T23:03:00.001+08:002015-02-14T01:08:58.817+08:00Bond<div>
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After so long that I couldn't almost remember what affection feels like. I still wonder what kind of bond I share with people around me, with me being reserved most of the time I perhaps unconsciously treating them as an acquaintance only.</div>
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That indeed, it's difficult for me to speak of love and affection when the bonds I'm sharing with various people are mere ragged knot which is about to break.</div>
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Bond, as such, becomes quite complicated as time passes by. People change, you change. And you can't expect people to be the same when they've gone through living during all that period of time you are missing in their lives and not by their side. </div>
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Many words to be said. Meanings to be shared. But sadly, at the moment, none of these happens.</div>
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When familiar becomes unfamiliar.</div>
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When bond breaks.</div>
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When love is unknown and affection loses its grace and dignify sense that connects between two souls.</div>
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There's no eye, ear and shoulder to turn to,</div>
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There's no home to return to,</div>
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How to feel needed again?<br />
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izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-6399621220879996662014-11-17T17:19:00.002+08:002014-11-17T17:19:50.083+08:00Running Against TimeI've been counting days and months and becoming aware of how little time I have actually till the day I supposedly to finish this seemingly long years of undergraduate studies.<br />
<br />
Noted that I mentioned 'supposedly'.<br />
<br />
I'm actually scared, no, 'scared' doesn't word it right. I'm horrified, terrified beyond measure.<br />
<br />
IDP (Integrated Design Project) is totally a burden.<br />
<br />
FYP (Final Year Project, Thesis), well is not like it doesn't progress at all, I couldn't get much help like everyone else, thus my work has stopped for a while. Getting an info for new things on market is not that easy too.<br />
<br />
And how could people expect me to learn new software (by myself !) in two weeks time?<br />
<br />
Excuse me, I don't think I've that much energy to express my dissatisfaction.<br />
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Excuse me.</div>
izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-54597996421233062242014-10-31T00:25:00.002+08:002014-10-31T01:42:14.832+08:005 cm<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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5 cm. An indonesian film. Go watch now ! Available on youtube.<br />
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Notable indonesian film:<br />
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<ul>
<li>Laskar Pelangi</li>
<li>Alangkah Lucunya Negeri Ini</li>
<li>Ketika Cinta Bertasbih</li>
<li>Ayat Ayat Cinta</li>
<li>99 Cahaya di Langit Eropa</li>
<li>Tenggelamnya Kapal Van Der Wijck</li>
<li>9 Summers 10 Autumns</li>
<li>Negeri 5 Menara</li>
<li>Hafalan Shalat Delisa</li>
</ul>
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izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-4060369791690641052014-10-28T06:12:00.002+08:002014-10-28T08:36:38.354+08:00Pekerti<br />
Teringat akan kata-kata Imam Hassan al-Banna,<br />
<br />
"Mengapa bergaduh akan perkara yang sunat, sedangkan kesatuan itu wajib?"<br />
<br />
Sempit sungguh akal sesetengah manusia.<br />
<br />
Dalam kekalutan yang menutupi jalan perpaduan,<br />
<br />
Pekerti, sayang, pekerti.<br />
<br />
Adab budi yang menjadi legasi, kebanggaan bangsa dan generasi moyang kamu itu yang membezakan darjat.<br />
<br />
Pekerti itu yang membuka jalan, membina jambatan, menerangi kegelapan kearah sesuatu yang lebih baik.<br />
<br />
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<span style="color: #0b5394;">"The world is change by your example, not your opinion" - Paulo Coelho</span></div>
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P/s: I've been on tumblr for all these times, so whenever I try to write long post, I just couldn't. So, I start by writing short posts more often till I get the hang of it. Also, been trying to improve my grammar and vocab as well. I've been trying to find time to read all books in my shelf before going to buy plenty more during Big Bad Wolf this coming December.<br />
<br />
Final semester. Bismillah.<br />
<br />
<br />izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-42651587440409916622014-10-28T05:32:00.003+08:002014-10-28T05:35:26.897+08:00 Book<br />
<br />
We seek to be understood, yet we never really made an effort to try to understand things which revolve around us.<br />
<br />
Let alone, the heart of people.<br />
<br />
In search for a companion,<br />
to guide us,<br />
to help us,<br />
to follow us,<br />
to walk alongside,<br />
and to share,<br />
good and bad,<br />
<br />
We forget;<br />
<br />
The heart of the people, is like a book,<br />
We open it, but never read<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-90486157263925656592014-10-24T02:54:00.003+08:002014-10-28T05:34:20.350+08:00Hati Kecil<br />
<br />
Seketika cuma, ku tertanya,<br />
Mengapa hati kecil ini,<br />
Penuh bisa;<br />
<br />
Namun, ia juga,<br />
Penuh rasa?<br />
<br />
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<br />izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-23880787204237350642014-10-21T04:36:00.001+08:002014-10-28T05:34:39.783+08:00The World Is Just Awesome<br />
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<br />
Sucker. Junkie. Whatever.<br />
<br />
Boom - Dee - Ah - Daah, Boom - Dee - Ah - Daah,<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="400" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/a0jZzBEKIMc" width="600"></iframe>izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-78171695241691487792014-10-21T04:29:00.001+08:002014-10-28T05:34:48.135+08:00Days<br />
Tuesday is my kind of Monday.<br />
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Monday is my bed day. Bedridden, doze off.<br />
<br />
And I agree, Wednesday is a good coffee day.<br />
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<br />izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-17639173494118439502014-10-21T04:15:00.004+08:002014-10-21T04:15:57.618+08:00Untitled #22<br />
Berlabuh lembut titisan air<br />
Dari langit yang kelam, suram<br />
Diselangi guruh yang menduga sukma<br />
<br />
Dan saat itu aku rebah<br />
Mehamparkan sekujur tubuh lebih dekat ke tanah<br />
Menghela nafas, mengunjur jemari<br />
Laksana buku lama yang ingin<br />
Ku singkap kembali<br />
<br />
Jujur,<br />
Sudah terlalu lama<br />
Tidak berbicara<br />
<br />
Hilang kata<br />
Hilang jiwa<br />
Hilang cintaizhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-82251213101322108562014-09-22T05:09:00.001+08:002014-09-22T11:43:55.058+08:00Thank You, And Then A Bow<br />
To start the story, I was rather stubborn, and I still am. Especially when it comes to feelings and thoughts. I am the kind of guy, you can say, a very reserved person. I open up to people, but in most cases, I usually keep emotional things to myself.<br />
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I don't really share about my problems to people, not even to my best friends, let alone my parent. I'd rather keep all my frustration, anger, and sadness deep inside my heart till all these unease feelings were no longer there, till they completely vanished and gone. Not even a word to the people around me. I couldn't bother them with my trouble at all, though I knew, deeply, that they were somehow worried, especially my parent.<br />
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After much incidents, my parent don't really ask me about how am I feeling any more. Of which, this is not normal at all. How can a relationship between a child and his parent resorts to this situation? I admit it, I seemed like a spoiled brat who doesn't respect my parent at all.<br />
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But somehow, they know that I'm going to be okay and they respect all my decisions in life. My father never say a word, just asking how my life is going now and then, and whether I need some money or not. My mum, like usual, occasionally asking me what am I doing through phone call. Yeah, I did share some of things with them, sometimes, or whenever I go somewhere, I'll inform them first.<br />
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It seemed that they trust me a lot, that I keep thinking, I can't disappoint them any further. I always keep things to myself, and because of the trust they have given me, I shall repay them with how well am I doing with my study, career, life and so forth. They know I don't like being bothered with questions, so at times, when we have a talk, even a small one, it will always be me who started it. Yeah, I have that kind of relationship with my parent, don't be surprised. It is one of my complex, and I've been trying to change that for years now, and since I've been through a lot these past two years, believe me, I am way better now.<br />
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Aside, not getting asked for anything, for me, is a blessing. As a parent, I knew really well, to some extent, you need to know what your child is doing, who their friend is, etc. If I had a child, I'd do that also. But to me, getting all sort of questions seems like I haven't been granted freedom on how to lead my own life.<br />
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Parent is a priority, family first. That's the path for you to go to heaven. Respect your parent. I am a family man, just that, I've this kind of inferiority complex that I don't really like to share my emotions with people. I fake a smile a lot. But as a child, I respect them very much. I cherish their opinions and advices, but when it comes to making decisions. I'd like make my own.<br />
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As I'm growing older, I realize that they are also growing old. My mum still works hard at school, and I can see clear wrinkle on my dad's forehead. They were always busy with something, and they will always be for the family.<br />
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Hence, as a son who always makes a mistake, and sinning towards my parent,<br />
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I hereby apologize and I feel terribly sorry.<br />
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For not being a good son.<br />
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For not being someone you can be proud of.<br />
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For calling home, not so often.<br />
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For being a lazy bump when I'm at home.<br />
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For always being naughty.<br />
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For keeping quiet.<br />
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It'll get better, one day.<br />
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I promise and I hope it's not too late.<br />
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Sincerely,<br />
A spoiled brat.<br />
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<br />izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-33136728660022987832014-09-22T04:44:00.002+08:002014-09-22T04:44:52.527+08:00A View On Marriage<br />
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Nope, not gonna discuss that.<br />
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End.izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-49803747654821678782014-09-22T04:30:00.001+08:002014-09-22T06:19:38.235+08:00Keep Going, I Guess2014, at least 3 quarters of it have passed us by, and I think this year is a bit weird.<br />
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This is no longer the year where I can wander aimlessly on the street while chilling out in the city or looking tired and casually going to class with bed hair, half open eyes and sleeping clothes just because I slept late that night. 2014 supposed to be the last year where I can enjoy my student life.</div>
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At this point, I've already set a goal in mind. I think I should. I'll be turning 23 soon. Why it is weird for me? Everything that was tearing apart suddenly coming back altogether at the same time. It didn't even let me feel remorse or grief or whatsoever, my life journey suddenly took a twist, and it was okay. Come on, how am I suppose to deal with that?</div>
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There were no longer heart-aching moment, rolling in bed regretting what had happened, and take a drive alone at night breathing some midnight air time. I was okay.</div>
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And I stayed the same.</div>
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The problem that I have right now is that I still dwell in the 'what ifs' instead of assuring myself to chase things further in the 'what wills'. A part of it is probably because I'm a damn realist. I don't hope that much. I don't have that kind of optimism or positive attitude like 'I can do it'. There is no 'I can do it'. My philosophy revolves around 'If I fail, then what?'. I live in worst-case scenario. Ever, I keep making plans, from A to Z, alternating between daydreaming and constructing contingency plans.</div>
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There is a realisation that I've come into that creating or living an ideal is not ideal at all, it's like living in perfection of which it contradicts the idea of reality itself. When I'm in state of 'okay', what can be worst? I am okay, therefore I am happy. When I seemed to truly understand that making a mistake or being cornered during a time in our life is perfectly normal for everyone, appreciating the state of mind of being okay is what I should probably do. Either way, deeply I knew that this doesn't display the contentment of being happy at all. Happiness leads to motivation.</div>
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Motivation leads to change. If I stayed the same, and proclaimed I was happy, I failed actually to understand or interpret the relative meaning of 'happy'. When living in worst case scenario, there is a thing that you will hear.</div>
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A whisper to the ears, "Good enough is good enough".</div>
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I, maybe, on the other hand, is a victim of stoicism.</div>
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Those who seemed solid on the outside, but actually vulnerable and fragile.</div>
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Good enough is not good enough.</div>
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Keep going, I guess but rather, this time I'll be my own hero.<br />
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I should do 'ihsaan' to myself.</div>
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"Doing great" is "good enough".</div>
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"Shake it off, shake it off" - Taylor Swift</div>
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izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-15582364696770544482014-09-18T00:16:00.002+08:002014-09-18T00:16:19.306+08:00Vid: Hari Malaysia - Kembara<br />
Tak boleh ke nak hidup aman damai tanpa racism dekat Malaysia ni?<br />
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Saya bercita-cita nak kawin chinese ni :)<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="400" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/huXCjuv5tEM" width="600"></iframe><br />
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<br />izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-71525957581174402232014-09-13T16:09:00.000+08:002014-09-14T22:37:39.013+08:00How I Save Money ?So, a friend asked me, "How do you save money?"<br />
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First of all, it's how I lead my life. I spent almost all of my allowance on food. Yes, food is my top priority. I rarely go shopping, I do not own any awesome gadgets, most of the time, I just use whatever I have.<br />
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I owned a laptop (Sony Vaio, has been using it for 4 years now), a phone (HTC One, after my old one broke, and I have extra money, hence I supposed buying a better phone is like an investment and I have no intent of buying or changing to a new one in three years time) and that's it. I wear my old clothes until they turn dull, or tear apart. I used to have an Onizuka Tiger (a pair of shoes, bought for 50 dollars in Toronto) and it lasted for about 3 years. The best one I've ever had since I used them to play futsal, going to class and even hiking. It ripped during my last hiking trip to Broga.<br />
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So, I don't really spend money on things I find useless, or I don't need it. Yeah, I also desire a camera (a compact SLR or DSLR), a Gopro, what else, pretty clothes like everyone else. But if I can still use my old one, why bother spending? Yeah, you can say that I'm a little stingy, cheapskate whatever, but the thing is I don't have an income (at this point).<br />
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I came from a normal family (neither rich nor poor, but we can afford a living I guess). I received a scholarship from the government, so I don't really want to burden my family with all the allowance they have to provide for me every month, I can use the money from the scholarship I got. But yeah, they still give me some every month. So, when I don't really generate money on my own, I basically have to refrain myself from overspending, Lavish way of life is not an option here.<br />
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I spent in on food. Good food, but quite pricey. Not that kind of food you will eat every week, but once a month is still okay (I'll be totally broke if that happens). I only receive enough money for a living, a fixed amount every month.<br />
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So, here is the idea that I came up with. Aside from keeping track of your cash flow, I guess you can do this. At least it works for me. I have 3 bank accounts. I do not know why, it just happened that way. The moment I turned 18, my father changed the accounts' name, so now I totally have control over the money on every account. So, I keep one account with my father, and use the other two. By the time, I received my scholarship, I need to make a new account. So here is the summary of the account I have.<br />
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Bank A - Scholarship money / Living allowance<br />
Bank B - Saving / Loan Account<br />
Bank C - The spending account (by the end of the day, the amount is nearly zero)<br />
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My primary account is Bank A. This is where I get my fixed living allowance every month. Bank B is my saving account or loan account. I'll explain after this. And Bank C is my spending account where every time I want to buy something I'll use the money from this bank.<br />
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Okay, since every month I'll use my money from Bank A, every first week of the month, I'll withdraw the fixed amount I get for that month. This may not feel safe, withdrawing quite the sum of money (a month allowance people) at one time, but this is the trick. So let's say my allowance for a month is 1000. So, I 'll withdraw 1000, and for the rest of the month I'll use only the money I keep in my wallet. Even, when I happen to be short at the end of the month, I'll not withdraw again. Because the money is enough for me to live for a month, if I need more that's mean I already overspent. If I need to stuff on instant noodle and nasi bujang (rice with omelette), then I should.<br />
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During my internship, during raya or sometimes my parent give some cash every month, all the money that I received I'll deposit them in Bank B. Every year I'll have a fixed amount of money I set Bank B to have. In 2012, it is 1000. 2013, it is 1500. And this year, it is 2000 (it should increase every year, that's the point of saving). Getting a fixed amount ( like a cut point or something), I can keep track of my money and still save a lot. This is my saving account. So, sometimes during emergency I need extra money, I'll take it from this account. So let's say I need to use 500 ringgit. So the balance of the account is 1500. But I already set the amount to be 2000. So I need to find money to top it up again, so the balance will be 2000 again. It's like a credit account. The amount must be always what you set it to be.<br />
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Bank C is where I keep my money for the things I want to buy. The other day when my phone broke, I borrowed a friend's phone and used it for almost half a year. During that time, little by little, I cashed in some money into this account. Not a huge amount at once. I was saving up my money to buy the new phone (the HTC One I'm using right now). So every month, I'll cash in some money till it reaches the amount I need. So, I returned the phone and bought a new one. And then again, the balance of this account is almost zero. I still deposit some money at the moment for travelling purposes.<br />
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So, using these three bank accounts, I managed to save my money. But the thing is, you'll also need extra income. Income from part time job, allowance from parent, duit raya, duit whatsoever you receive, don't spend it all at one go. Plan your spending. As a student, this is what I do. I don't have that much luxury and I don't really want to burden my parent (I already received scholarship money), so all the things that I want or places I want to go, I need to come up with the incentives on my own.<br />
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So, that's how I save money.<br />
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Currently, saving some money to travel to either Indonesia, Japan or Australia. I also need a camera or a gopro. Either one. And don't mind my grammar. Too lazy to check it.<br />
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<br />izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-2768089689266686852014-08-31T00:21:00.000+08:002014-09-01T03:11:56.591+08:00Song: Warisan<br />
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Pesan Sudirman bukan lah tidak mudah difahami. Ia begitu jelas dalan susuk rangkap dan bait-bait lirik dan melodi sebuah lagu bertajuk "Warisan"<br />
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Berjuang demi bangsa itu punya banyak cara.<br />
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Berjuang demi negara itu tidak semestinya ke medan peperangan<br />
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Anak muda harapan, pemuda pemudi pemikiran, penyambung warisan, pembela adat ketamadunan, kesemuanya ada medan tempur nya sendiri.<br />
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Ingin ku ungkapkan sekali lagi,<br />
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Aku</div>
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Bukanlah seorang perwira</div>
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Gagah menghunus senjata</div>
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Namun rela hati berjuang</div>
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Walau dengan cara sendiri</div>
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Demi cinta ini</div>
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Aku lah penyambung warisan</div>
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Selamat Hari Merdeka ke 57 !</div>
izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5422718057933785239.post-61719274222639722562014-08-29T02:23:00.004+08:002014-08-29T17:19:19.265+08:00Eye Opening Escapade: Part 2Me: Back to reality<br />
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Dalton: So everything that happened in here (Mabul) is not real?<br />
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What Dalton said was true, it's just us being in state of denial. Everything is a reality, from the moment we were born, we live in the real world. There's no back to reality. We live in reality all along.<br />
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Desmond, or Des is the diving instructor at ScubaJeff, the place we chose to stay during our trip in Mabul Island. We met him at ScubaJeff office in Semporna, while we were waiting for our boat. That day also was Des first day in Semporna and Mabul. So he gladly joined us for the first two days of our short vacation.<br />
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Des seemed like a simple guy, wearing a tank top and short for almost all the time of the day. He came from South Africa, and have been travelling since he finished high school. We talked and shared stories while chilling on the deck and stuffing our mouth with some snacks we bought at Semporna. He lead quite an interesting life, since he have been travelling to most of Asian countries. He has seen lots of things and based on his stories, we were quite fascinated and to some degree, respected him. We imagined getting a diving license as an instructor would be easy but that was not the case. Des told us that he need to learn physics, physiology, psychology and all other stuffs, and he need to take two tests, the written one and practical exam to get his license and he need to pass both. Underwent two months of training, and he said to us during that two months preparation, he also can fail without actually taking the real tests. While we thought he seemed to be a laid-back kind of guy, his stories told a different thing, he is a hardworking guy and willing to put his utmost effort for the thing he loves.<br />
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It struck me hard. People don't just get what they wanted most of the time. It doesn't come rolling the moment you want it. They strive for it. I know this seems cliche, but then hearing it personally from a person I know, this is not a drama that you watch on tv on weekly basis. Living and struggle are real.<br />
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Our last night in Mabul, we joined ScubaJeff staffs for some snacks and drinks, kinda like spending some quality time with the staffs. They actually were holding a welcome party for Des. That night, we had the chance to have some small chit chat with Dalton, the co-owner of ScubaJeff and it turned out that small chit chat lasted for a few hours.<br />
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We joined the staffs and Dalton was showing us some magic tricks. I assured you he was quick with his hands, and he was amazing. He had fooled a few of us, though we knew magic trick is an illusion or distraction to the eyes, but we had a good time with his tricks.<br />
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Then, we started asking questions. I predicted that his age was around 40 something. He was a civil engineer in Ireland, getting fed up with his boring life, he started travelling and to date, haven't really settled down yet. He plans to go South America for a couple of years, but at the moment he is occupied with works at ScubaJeff as manager, and he also owned a dive shop in Thailand.<br />
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Dalton has been to all over the world, except for South America. How cool is that, most of us were surprised and impressed. But then there was also the bad side of it, but Dalton told us, he had fun. Dalton hitch-hiked in Middle East for four months, from Egypt and ended up in Syria. He worked at a cyber cafe, as a bartender, as a DJ and also a part time magician. Well, he said he usually get his own way due to his connection with people, and by the way he talk, I assume he has the ability to convince people. Probably he also know how to scam people, but then let's just be positive. He used to live in the streets, stayed for months for free at a hotel owned by his friends, and get scammed by others till he fell completely broke.<br />
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There was plenty of stories he told us that night. And it made us think, are we going in the right direction? Dalton gave us some advices. Life is not all about going in the right direction and making the right decision all the time, it is about finding ourselves and what is our passion. You get lost, you fall down. All of that don't matter, because it happens to everyone.<br />
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"I just want to be happy".<br />
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"If I don't like something, f**k this and bye bye".<br />
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I took it as an example. He may not be a religious person, still single and hasn't settled down anywhere and never plan to do it in the meantime. But he has already experienced life more than all of us and has been through a lot, hence a respect to him.<br />
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If people ask me the same question we asked Dalton, probably I don't have any answer. Worst, I become confused than I already am. Honestly, I still don't know about what I really wanted to do, what my passion is, and am I doing this sincerely or out of consideration of playing safe in life.<br />
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We become sceptical of people. To survive, we need to have a degree or a diploma. We need to have a professional job, so we can lead a good life. Get married, have kids and all sort of things we can see a lot nowadays. Those who don't, they are bounded to fail. Died alone maybe. Truth be told, I couldn't be like Dalton. I have my own principle and belief.<br />
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Yet, I do admire him. I'm thinking of travelling. That's all in my head now. I haven't learn from people as much as I can. I already knew the essence of failure. I can see flaws in my own country, the people, the systems, the moral doctrine, and the culture. But learning is a continuous process till the day you die. And we can never finish learning. There's so much I haven't discover yet, there are places I haven't see with my own eyes and set foot onto. To think I desire those kind of things, sacrifice is certainly needed.<br />
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Well, I don't know. I'm still in the process of sorting out my thought.<br />
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Ever, I wish I'm happy. For now, I am. In near or distant future, let's pray I'm still happy with what I do.<br />
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And you too.<br />
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I like kids?<br />
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Next? Haha, not in three years time.<br />
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Adieu.izhar kasimhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12457046640495459908noreply@blogger.com0