Saturday, December 31, 2011

Life: Hello 2012, Goodbye 2011

This is the last post for this month, and of course this year too, 2011.

2011, conclusively, has been a tough year, the worst at the time being in my 20 years of living. Well, there have been several occasions of laughter and joyfulness, but life has its up and down, and the downfall, probably has the greatest impact in my life.

At first, I was confused because this was the first time I was infatuated with the current condition where everything I did went all wrong. Who knew that a boy ended up crying at that time, unexpectedly. I searched for light in vain, every night it became a nightmare, but one thing I learnt, a crucial knowledge, is never to lose hope.


I kept praying, at the same still struggling to fight the doubts and worries that resided in my heart, I lost. I tried to regain strength, I did but the battle was already over. And what's left, was to decide on my next path. So I did. Honestly, I wish to keep all my memories of 2011 in a Pandora's Box where only time has the key to open it.

But that's just pathetic. Compared to others, this is nothing I guess. Everyone has their own fights, everyone feels the same occasionally, and this time, unfortunately, I was chosen. It's better to be this early, I need to learn the lesson anyway. God has His own plan, and for sure, I'll gain benefits out of it sometime in the future.

So, I'm in a place I've never had in mind before. But that feeling still doesn't fade away. The feeling where I feel I don't belong to this place, but at the same time, I'm enjoying myself, showing my smile to the world to tell them I'm fine just the way it is. This place perhaps will be just another terminal for me, or maybe a destination. For how long, I don't know.

Thanks for all the failures, rejections, pains, scars and defeats. I'll make use of the lessons somehow :)


There are more to these, and I tell true story. But only a part of it. People, often drive by curiosity, but not a helping hand. And that's why I chose to be silent. Silence is not the best solution, until I found a way, I'll keep it this way. And I'm sorry for all the mistakes and sins. For I'm also a normal human being.

I already have the end in mind. God willing, I'll be packing my stuffs once again, to leave for another terminal and set foot on a new journey. I'm trying to learn to see things differently, judging things based on a new perspective, and perhaps this is the time to improvise, fixing things that needed to be fixed, before setting sail again.

And if that came true, maybe I'll see the world clearer than once I did.

Cheers to a year of friendship, learning, love and living. And what's great to be born on the last day of the year, you're able to reflects on many things in the past and a new resolution for next year.

Probably too early, but

Happy New Year 2012


2 comments:

Anonymous said...

well written!i hope i could write one like this..

izhar kasim said...

Thanks. It's just an expression of feeling :)

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