Thank You, And Then A Bow

To start the story, I was rather stubborn, and I still am. Especially when it comes to feelings and thoughts. I am the kind of guy, you can say, a very reserved person. I open up to people, but in most cases, I usually keep emotional things to myself.

I don't really share about my problems to people, not even to my best friends, let alone my parent. I'd rather keep all my frustration, anger, and sadness deep inside my heart till all these unease feelings were no longer there, till they completely vanished and gone. Not even a word to the people around me. I couldn't bother them with my trouble at all, though I knew, deeply, that they were somehow worried, especially my parent.

After much incidents, my parent don't really ask me about how am I feeling any more. Of which, this is not normal at all. How can a relationship between a child and his parent resorts to this situation? I admit it, I seemed like a spoiled brat who doesn't respect my parent at all.

But somehow, they know that I'm going to be okay and they respect all my decisions in life. My father never say a word, just asking how my life is going now and then, and whether I need some money or not. My mum, like usual, occasionally asking me what am I doing through phone call. Yeah, I did share some of things with them, sometimes, or whenever I go somewhere, I'll inform them first.

It seemed that they trust me a lot, that I keep thinking, I can't disappoint them any further. I always keep things to myself, and because of the trust they have given me, I shall repay them with how well am I doing with my study, career, life and so forth. They know I don't like being bothered with questions, so at times, when we have a talk, even a small one, it will always be me who started it. Yeah, I have that kind of relationship with my parent, don't be surprised. It is one of my complex, and I've been trying to change that for years now, and since I've been through a lot these past two years, believe me, I am way better now.

Aside, not getting asked for anything, for me, is a blessing. As a parent, I knew really well, to some extent, you need to know what your child is doing, who their friend is, etc. If I had a child, I'd do that also. But to me, getting all sort of questions seems like I haven't been granted freedom on how to lead my own life.

Parent is a priority, family first. That's the path for you to go to heaven. Respect your parent. I am a family man, just that, I've this kind of inferiority complex that I don't really like to share my emotions with people. I fake a smile a lot. But as a child, I respect them very much. I cherish their opinions and advices, but when it comes to making decisions. I'd like make my own.

As I'm growing older, I realize that they are also growing old. My mum still works hard at school, and I can see clear wrinkle on my dad's forehead. They were always busy with something, and they will always be for the family.

Hence, as a son who always makes a mistake, and sinning towards my parent,

I hereby apologize and I feel terribly sorry.

For not being a good son.

For not being someone you can be proud of.

For calling home, not so often.

For being a lazy bump when I'm at home.

For always being naughty.

For keeping quiet.

It'll get better, one day.

I promise and I hope it's not too late.








Sincerely,
A spoiled brat.