TTL #16

We still can't imagine our futures or foresee what they hold, but we all will change slowly. In the same way that we've matured a little

Song: Rolling In The Deep

Because Adele is too mainstream. How come I didn't know Linkin Park made a cover of this song. A year late. Chester Bennington is awesome.

Random And Radical Boredom #20

After a week of not opening blogger, I have this sudden feeling crept into my soul. A feeling to write.

We have made some progress with the design project. We now have all the basic design of framework of the house. It took us so long, almost a week to interpret the architectural plan of the house into basic framework plan, sketched with only beams and columns.

Lucky for us when we no longer need to bother ourselves with the specification of the beam and column, as we only need to assume all of them are of the same size. That reduces the work by half I guess.

We are in a period of "design testing". All columns are in a fixed position. There are certain parts we can place the column, while we can put as many beams as we want, not considering any constraints such as types, how much it can take loading and also financial provisions. And what's exhausting, after getting one of the sample designs done, we are haunted by a series of complicated calculations. It drove me crazy the other day, frustrated enough to soon explode.

We still have some modifications to make, and transferring the design into detailed plan in paper, and also in CAD (computer-aided design). Though we have two weeks left, playing time was never there to begin with. So, each one of us is quite stressed out. 

Getting ahead, we were told that Structural Analysis II requires more that we have done the previous week. I don't know if the intention is for us to be prepared and to do well on this project, but the more I think about it, it's quite discouraging. Ignoring it for now is the best thing I could think of.

So, we decided to take a day off on Wednesday. Thinking of something to do on that day rather than spending time sleeping and surfing the net, we went to Sungai Tekala, a recreational park located in Semenyih. Refreshing water, green scenery, quiet and peaceful. A good place for us who need a break. Besides, there were not many people on weekdays, so I think going there that day was a correct choice.

It's been a while since I drowned myself in a river and I was a lil bit excited. Maybe I played in water too hard that day, it left me with sicknesses. Leg cramps, flu, cough and cold. All at once. I'm getting better but I still suffer from a severe cough. Hopefully I'll be in perfect health by Monday. Thinking of piles of works I have in store, getting sick at this time is not a choice. 

Leaving the work-related story behind, it's Syabaan already. That's means we have about 27 days till Ramadhan. I didn't realize it until now when a friend of mine asked me if I want to fast with him this upcoming Monday. Yeah, I know Ramadhan is just around the corner, but I totally lost count of the date. I really need to reflect upon myself starting this Syabaan. Maybe for that purpose, I need to discuss it in another post.

On a different note, Anan is coming back from Spain tomorrow. Me, Bushra and Nizam decided to pick him up tomorrow morning and probably having breakfast together. Since all of us are busy this week, we all agree to postpone our day out next week.

One more thing, lately I've been thinking of changing to tumblr. For convenience, perhaps. Tumblr is like a mini blog, and if you're just too lazy to update anything, reblog is a very powerful tool. Or maybe another option is to use them both. Alternately switching between tumblr and blogger depending on my mood. No decision has been made yet, but I'm seriously considering it. I'll let you know if I already made one.

Adieu.

Random And Radical Boredom #19

Ah, wochenende.

Sebenarnya, rasa malas gila lah nak update blog ni.

Idea tu ada, tapi malas and busy. Ingatkan nak biar je blog ni terabai buat sementara waktu. Facebook dah memang lama terabai. Tambah-tambah, ada Euro sekarang. Aish, rasanya Netherlands memang takde harapan nak advance top 8. Memang next week, semua match decide siapa advance quarter final for every group. And then, free time allocate untuk rehat, malam layan Euro. So, tak berapa nak cukup tidur.

Sekarang actually tengah busy dengan design project.

Structural Design for Two-Storey House

Ada layout design tu tapi malas nak upload. Kalau bagi rumah pondok takpe jugak. Ini rumah modern dua tingkat, memang kitorang mengadap plan rumah tu dari pagi sampai petang. Dah lah kena lukis plan baru ikut scale, plus calculation.

Segala jenis batang besi tiang rumah tu kitorang kena decide and analyze, lepas tu kena consider concrete, berat barang and berat orang segala bagai, agak tak berapa nak cukup nafas lah. Sebab tu rasa macam malas je nak buat benda lain.

There is a saying, "A dream of an architect is a nightmare for engineer"

Memang pun. Ingat kan saje-saje je ada peribahasa tu, sekali bila dah kena macam ni, agak tak sanggup lah kalau kena design pelik-pelik. 

Tu je nak bagitahu. So tak tahu lagi lah bila nak update. Selamat maju jaya untuk hari-hari yang mendatang. Nah gambar katak yang agak comel.

TTL #15

"I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal. I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin, but by the content of their character"

Martin Luther King - I Have A Dream Speech

Vid: Chloe Saying Bye

Hai hai.

Aku tak berapa nak ada mood nak update blog. Euro dah start. Kerja banyak. Penat. And to those who are having final exam, all the best !

"Man jadda wa jada, Barang siapa yang bersungguh-sungguh, dia akan mendapatkannya" - Rasulullah SAW

Some of these days, going to the beach or waterfall sounds fun. And Chloe is effing cute !

Turn Back The Pendulum 9

Suasana malam dalam kelas seperti biasa, sunyi. Mujur tak banyak kerja sekolah hari ini.

"Ko nak balik bila ni? Tengok tak?"

"Of course ar. Kejap lagi kot. Dalam pukul 9.15 ke."

"Siapa lagi follow?"

"Aku rasa ramai je, tadi dekat surau semua dah pakat dah."

"Ok-ok. Nak pergi nanti panggil aku."

Kelihatan dua tiga empat lima pelajar lelaki 5.1 (Al-Razi) lalu di tepi kelas ready nak pulang ke asrama.

"Oi, jom lah. Tinggal-tinggal lah kerja tu."

"Haha. Pergi dulu, kejap lagi aku follow."

Aku cepat-cepat siapkan soalan latihan kelas tambahan Add Math. Nasib baik Faidhi and Amin dah siap, tiru jela sikit-sikit. Khairul Khusaini dan Hasyim di sebelah dah mula mengemas beg.

Suasana sedikit kecoh di luar kelas. Beberapa lagi pelajar lelaki dari kelas 5.1 dan 5.3 dah ready nak balik. Siap kerja, aku letak semua buku bawah meja. Beg kain hitam oren dicapai, berserta pensel case dan latihan kelas tambahan Pendidikan Agama Islam. Kerja Ustazah Zauyah ni kena buat, mahu naya kena soal dalam kelas and jawab dekat depan.

"Jom!"

"Pergi panggil Nizam kejap."

Dari 5.2 menyulusuri kelas 5.4 dan 5.5, turun tangga dihadapan 3.2 sehingga tingkat bawah dan berhenti di hadapan bilik SPBT. Kena cover line, takut-takut ada warden pulak malam ni. Line clear. Sampai di asrama, terus menuju ke bilik TV, blok Zuhal. Penuh dengan pelajar form 5 dan ada segelintir pelajar form 4.

Scene Fahri bertemu dengan Aisha lengkap berpurdah di dalam monorel terpacar di TV.

Sebenarnya, semua teruja nak tengok Ayat-Ayat Cinta tayangan di TV3 hari Jumaat pukul 9 hari tu. Ayat-Ayat Cinta ni memang benda hot suatu ketika dulu pada tahun 2008. Sampaikan aku pun tersedu-sedu baca novel ni terutama sekali dalam kelas agama Ustazah Zauyah.

Yang perempuan gilakan Fahri. Yang lelaki jatuh cinta dengan Aisha. Maria Girgis lakonan Carissa Puteri berambut merah dah cukup mencairkan hati mana-mana lelaki. Dan juga kegedikan nya yang membuat lelaki menjerit "Awwwwwhhh". Otai kaki pukul belakang kolah pun layan cerita ni.

Orang mula layan cerita Islamik. Bagus lah tu. Cerita start pukul 9, prep habis 10 suku. Nak tak nak, escape prep / balik awal adalah perkara wajib malam itu. Ayat-Ayat Cinta kot, rugi lah kalau dapat tengok separuh jer. Di bilik TV, boleh kata semua masih berbaju melayu. Masa iklan pun tak nak pergi balik dorm tukar. Takut seat kerusi dirampas. Ada jugak yang sanggup duduk atas lantai. Punyalah penangan Ayat-Ayat Cinta masa tu.

Mata tak bergerak dari screen TV. Bunyi-bunyi bising, mahupun suara memanggil kawan ditegur agar tak mengganggu konsentrasi. Nak feeling lebih, ewah.

"Eh, dah light off dah ni, kenapa TV bukak lagi?"

Sir Fakha terjah bilik TV.

"Dah-dah, tutup TV tu. Pergi masuk tidur. Siapa nak study je tinggal."

Hingus disedut. Kepala tak gatal digaru. Ada yang buat-buat batuk. Ada juga buat muka tak puas hati.

"Alah, Sir, kejap je, pukul 12 habis lah."

"Esok sabtu Sir, prep pun start lambat."

Satu demi satu pujuk rayu suara sumbang sadis kedengaran ketika itu. Yang tidak bersuara cuma berharap. Form 1 dan form 2 yang tiada kuasa authority dah berjalan pulang kecewa. Yang form 5 masih lagi tak berganjak. Hati keras, Ayat-Ayat Cinta punya pasal.

Maybe berkat semua layan cerita Islamik, Sir Fakha jadi lembut hati. Bila dah masuk scene akhir, ramai yang mula syahdu.

"Oi, jangan lah nangis."

"Eleh, padahal ko yang nangis kan?"

Yang lembut jiwa, dah mula menggosok mata, konon mengantuk. Siapa kata lelaki tak romantik? Cerita tamat pukul 12. Namun cerita mulut ke mulut dua minggu lepas tu barulah senyap. Setiap hari ada je dengar orang sebut Ayat-Ayat Cinta.

Ada jugak sanggup beli novel. Novel sedia ada di pass-pass ikut urutan "scander". Lagi-lagi dalam kelas Kimia Miss Subathny dan kelas agama Ustazah Zauyah. Hehe, kelas BM En. Wan Sazali aku lagi seronok baca paper.

Mungkin boleh layan cerita Ketika Cinta Bertasbih lakonan Asmirandah pulak lepas ni.

Ya Allah, letakkanlah dunia ditanganku, jangan di hatiku - Aisha (Ayat-Ayat Cinta)

p/s: TBTP 8 tak tulis lagi. Terlupa cerita Mustak tu tak habis lagi. Cerita ni actually dah lama tulis tapi post dekat blog batch (Matrix).

Song: Island In The Sun

Budak IPTA dah start final. Selamat lah semuanya !

Random And Radical Boredom #18

Assalam. Hey, how was your day?

It's actually nice having someone asking you how do you do everyday. It makes you feel you're important in someone else's life. It's just a thought, but at times, I really want to feel it too.

Nothing much happened for the past few days. So ordinary. Thus, I'm always in deep thought mood. I think I'm scared. Or worried too much. Or being extra careful. I've been imagining things, fearful things that might happen tomorrow. Anything can happen right?

Especially death. Recently, there were too many cases or media reports on death. The new one was the zombie man. I can't bear the thought of having one of my family member passes away or getting injured. Everyone has been going their own way, and the only times we're able to see each other and getting together is during holiday. But then, getting the idea if one of them is missing or gone forever, I don't know what will happen to me. Undeniably sad?

I never once saw my father cry during a funeral. Maybe as a man of the family, he needs to stay strong. Everyone will die someday and if everyone feels weak over the death of their loved one, no one will ever move on. Everyone will need someone to comfort them and makes them realize their loved one isn't there any more. I bet it isn't going to be easy, but life still goes on. So I wonder if I can be as strong as my father, mentally.

During the Eid of 2011, we went to visit my grandfather's grave. Well, we will certainly visit the grave every Eid, but in 2011, it was a little bit different. Since my brother wasn't there, so I was asked by my father to conduct the yasin recital and du'a. Confused, because during every Eid, it is either going to be my father or my uncle (Pak Teh) to do the recital. I asked him why. He simply answered that I need to know how to do this and be prepared because maybe tomorrow, I need to recite it for him. I knew well of his intention. As a son who is going to take after the family, at least I need to learn this stuff. But then again, anyone will sadden if they think they're not going to have breakfast together tomorrow morning with their father. Forever.

I was shaken by the thought of losing anyone. Be it a family member or a closed friend. It scared me to the core.

As a muslim, certainly death is a reminder. Maybe we're not created for the world, maybe we're created for something greater and the only way to go there is by ripping off your soul from your physical body. Die. Of course, if we have attained imaan and live happily in Jannah.

I already bear in mind, deep inside, it's going to be sad. The question is, to what extend? I've never experienced it before, that's why it's so frustrating to just thinking about it, mixed with fear. It's not like I'm trying to scare everyone by posting something like this. But in actual fact, no one can escape death. So like it or not, prepare or not, it's going to happen. All in all, I wish to be someone who scare not of death, and at the same time, I wish to be prepared.

And lastly is du'a. Loving someone is a human's nature. But loving them by praying for their safety, hoping to reunite with them in Jannah is the greatest love of all. May our days be tender, and for us to be a faithful son or daughter, a loving friend, or perhaps a kind stranger. After all, our blood is still the same colour.

I ask of Him, if it's going to happen to me someday, grant me strength to overcome this heartbreaking test from You, ya Allah.

This post also reminds me to always make du'a for our brothers and sisters in middle east who are struggling everyday with painful calamities. May they become strong and hopefully someday, win is on their side.

Sorry if this is too intimidating.

Life: Terkapai-kapai, mungkin

Aku ada melepak, jumpa dua orang ex-classmates hari tu, Acap and Faris (Bargak). Saje je pergi minum-minum and layan teh tarik after setahun tak jumpa. Last jumpa pun macam biasa, either raya or jamuan buka puasa Matrix (batch).

And macam biasa, bila dah jumpa member lama, yang first sekali is catching up with each other. Like study, works, life, and so forth. The next thing we talked about is our old classmates. Hasyim yang semakin jiwang tahap aku pun nak muntah, gosip-gosip baru, update lah mana-mana yang perlu diupdate.

Among kitorang bertiga, Acap lah yang paling matang sikit. Acap pursues Biology, both Faris and me take Civil Engineering. So when we discussed about our future, aku and Faris ada terfikir and meluahkan sekali yang kitorang ni, even lagi dua tiga tahun nak habis belajar still lagi terkapai-kapai. About our works after we graduate, future, love, marriage etc.

Seriously, aku agak setuju dengan Faris, yang student engineering mostly tak tahu kenapa diorang pursue engineering. After getting a good SPM result, since they didn't know what course to take, they chose engineering. Tak lah semua tapi realitinya memang wujud dekat dunia ni. Even sampai sekarang, we have no solid reason to study engineering. Even engineering is considered as a critical subject, engineering ni dah jadi macam last choice. If you have basic in math and physics, most likely you can go for engineering. But gradually, the feeling comes to you. Kenapa pilih engineering sekian-sekian?

Acap butted in on our conversation. Since he takes a different course from us, listening to his opinions might trigger something. Seperti yang semua orang tahu, it's all about passion. Sekali lagi, aku and Faris setuju, orang yang pursue course yang mereka minat or based on their passion, adalah lebih baik daripada kitorang yang masih lagi terkapai-kapai takde arah tuju ni. Even maybe course diorang tu tak dipandang tinggi sangat dalam masyarakat or orang anggap course tu remeh semacam je tak macam law, medic or engin, but partake in any subject which you'll dedicate yourself to, years from now, believe me, it will pay off your effort.

So, ini mengingatkan aku tentang diri aku dua tahun lepas. I was a mechanical engineering student. Now, I am civ student. Dari mechi lari ke civ, aku ada concrete reason nak tukar course. Actually, aku nak ambil medicine. Tapi aku ni haemophobia. So, kalau aku take medic, ada dua je probabilities. Either my haemophobia is cured or worse, aku memang tak boleh nak teruskan study. I couldn't risk the chance.

Aku takde minat yang particular yang boleh dibuat kerjaya, so I went for engin. Aku pun tak tahu nak ambil engineering apa, mechanical was a better choice that time, as it's considered as a general engineering. Tapi bila dah masuk mechi, ada banyak benda yang aku tak minat. So, after I finished first year, aku fikir betul-betul, buat research, and maybe civil engineering lebih sesuai since I'm an outdoor person. Plus, I used to be interested in geology.

Then, we came up with one thing, hikmah. Walaupun aku masih tak faham konsep hikmah, I can just conclude it as a leap of faith. Make a leap of faith. Just believe one thing you do right now will comes with benefits in the future. Maybe 5 to 10 years from now, or even longer.

And sekarang, walaupun aku tak berapa nak yakin, maybe I just have to strive for civil engineering. Things which I have to worry after I graduate, let the future me deal with them. Now, I just have to keep struggling. Resentment may comes later, but like I said, it's maybe a hikmah. Success is learning, failure is also learning. It's how you see those two things, how you treat yourself after a failure or success, how you identified your strengths and weaknesses and utilise them.

Trust me, I'm an engineer

At least for now, I have one less thing to worry about. Catching up with old friends, definitely I need to do this often. Past is past, but for the future, we can always help each other.

It's a long way to the top, if you wanna rock n' roll - AC/DC