Life: Terkapai-kapai, mungkin

Aku ada melepak, jumpa dua orang ex-classmates hari tu, Acap and Faris (Bargak). Saje je pergi minum-minum and layan teh tarik after setahun tak jumpa. Last jumpa pun macam biasa, either raya or jamuan buka puasa Matrix (batch).

And macam biasa, bila dah jumpa member lama, yang first sekali is catching up with each other. Like study, works, life, and so forth. The next thing we talked about is our old classmates. Hasyim yang semakin jiwang tahap aku pun nak muntah, gosip-gosip baru, update lah mana-mana yang perlu diupdate.

Among kitorang bertiga, Acap lah yang paling matang sikit. Acap pursues Biology, both Faris and me take Civil Engineering. So when we discussed about our future, aku and Faris ada terfikir and meluahkan sekali yang kitorang ni, even lagi dua tiga tahun nak habis belajar still lagi terkapai-kapai. About our works after we graduate, future, love, marriage etc.

Seriously, aku agak setuju dengan Faris, yang student engineering mostly tak tahu kenapa diorang pursue engineering. After getting a good SPM result, since they didn't know what course to take, they chose engineering. Tak lah semua tapi realitinya memang wujud dekat dunia ni. Even sampai sekarang, we have no solid reason to study engineering. Even engineering is considered as a critical subject, engineering ni dah jadi macam last choice. If you have basic in math and physics, most likely you can go for engineering. But gradually, the feeling comes to you. Kenapa pilih engineering sekian-sekian?

Acap butted in on our conversation. Since he takes a different course from us, listening to his opinions might trigger something. Seperti yang semua orang tahu, it's all about passion. Sekali lagi, aku and Faris setuju, orang yang pursue course yang mereka minat or based on their passion, adalah lebih baik daripada kitorang yang masih lagi terkapai-kapai takde arah tuju ni. Even maybe course diorang tu tak dipandang tinggi sangat dalam masyarakat or orang anggap course tu remeh semacam je tak macam law, medic or engin, but partake in any subject which you'll dedicate yourself to, years from now, believe me, it will pay off your effort.

So, ini mengingatkan aku tentang diri aku dua tahun lepas. I was a mechanical engineering student. Now, I am civ student. Dari mechi lari ke civ, aku ada concrete reason nak tukar course. Actually, aku nak ambil medicine. Tapi aku ni haemophobia. So, kalau aku take medic, ada dua je probabilities. Either my haemophobia is cured or worse, aku memang tak boleh nak teruskan study. I couldn't risk the chance.

Aku takde minat yang particular yang boleh dibuat kerjaya, so I went for engin. Aku pun tak tahu nak ambil engineering apa, mechanical was a better choice that time, as it's considered as a general engineering. Tapi bila dah masuk mechi, ada banyak benda yang aku tak minat. So, after I finished first year, aku fikir betul-betul, buat research, and maybe civil engineering lebih sesuai since I'm an outdoor person. Plus, I used to be interested in geology.

Then, we came up with one thing, hikmah. Walaupun aku masih tak faham konsep hikmah, I can just conclude it as a leap of faith. Make a leap of faith. Just believe one thing you do right now will comes with benefits in the future. Maybe 5 to 10 years from now, or even longer.

And sekarang, walaupun aku tak berapa nak yakin, maybe I just have to strive for civil engineering. Things which I have to worry after I graduate, let the future me deal with them. Now, I just have to keep struggling. Resentment may comes later, but like I said, it's maybe a hikmah. Success is learning, failure is also learning. It's how you see those two things, how you treat yourself after a failure or success, how you identified your strengths and weaknesses and utilise them.

Trust me, I'm an engineer

At least for now, I have one less thing to worry about. Catching up with old friends, definitely I need to do this often. Past is past, but for the future, we can always help each other.

It's a long way to the top, if you wanna rock n' roll - AC/DC